Review: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

With the exception of Steam and a few other determined developers, gaming on the PC is in a rapid decline. Piracy and the allure of greater profit on consoles have stymied the progression of gaming on a once-thriving platform. However, with the release of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings, Polish developer CD Projekt Red Studio is attempting to prove that sticking with the PC’s hardcore roots while simultaneously pushing the platform forward graphically will be enough to bring console gamers back to the mouse and keyboard.

The Witcher 2 is literally the Frankenstein of gaming. There are so many modern and old-school gaming tropes packed in that you’ll feel like you’re playing Baldur’s Gate one minute and Assassin’s Creed the next. This is the beauty and the curse of The Witcher. While many of the game’s elements will feel familiar, most of them have already been done better. Combat is clumsy, with the protagonist, Geralt taking far too long to implement attacks and even simple movement, at times. Button inputs sometimes won’t even register, and enemy targeting is a huge hassle. All these problems are amplified even further by the game’s group combat. When surrounded by a swarm of enemies, often you’re only chance at victory will be to cheese the system by getting foes stuck on the game’s environment and going in for a few quick blows.

A annoying as combat can be, however, The Witcher 2’s biggest flaw is the tutorial system, or to be more precise, the lack of one. True, the game teaches you all the basics of combat and map markers of objectives help, but seemingly obvious things like what spells do or how to mix potions aren’t covered. Whether this was bad development or because The Witcher 2 is callback to hardcore PC games is unclear, though the latter seems more likely. However, getting lost for hours at a time and dying constantly because you couldn’t tell that Yrden was the sign (i.e. spell) you needed to cast in order to stop a giant tentacle from smashing you are unforgivable, whatever the reason.

One thing that is obvious about The Witcher 2 is how impressive it is, graphically. It is among the games that truly push the limits of gaming PCs, looking gorgeous even on medium and low. Minute details like the texture of skin and light shining through trees are captured perfectly. 

The Witcher 2 makes no concessions about its content; this game takes full advantage of its M rating. Blood flows like water and women ain’t shy in the world of The Witcher. Right of the bat, Geralt’s little lady, Triss is on full display and not soon after that, you’re cutting up badies left and right in a chaotic siege. There’s not a whole lot of romanticizing when it comes to the game’s fiction. Towns like Flotsam are filled with fat slobs, prostitutes and corrupt guards, and the way characters talk, you’d think everyone in the game was a sailor. If you’re looking for shinning knights and blonde damsels in distress, this isn’t the game for you.

While the unapologetic adultness of The Witcher 2 is refreshing and the major characters are decent enough, $50 is just too high a price for such a niche game. There are just too many problems with the gameplay and interface that will put off the average gamer. However, if you’re a hardcore gamer with a powerhouse rig and a lot of free time this summer, and you’re willing to stomach the atrocious combat, The Witcher 2 is right up your alley.

Review: MLB 2K11

Any baseball manager will tell you that, for all the stats and sabermetrics, you still have to go out between the white lines and play the game. That, for every 5-tool superstar like Troy Tulowitzki, there are scrappy gamers like Nick Punto who contribute in less tangible ways. Such is the life of 2K Sports’ frumpy also-ran baseball series, MLB 2K, which has long-since been abandoned by gamers for Sony’s stick-swingin’ sim, MLB: The Show. But while The Show may possess every tool in the proverbial shed, and despite 2K’s lame duck exclusivity deal with MLB drawing to a close, MLB 2K11 somehow finds a way to deliver a fun, albeit arcady baseball experience.

As with last year’s entry, 2K11’s big strengths are the pitching and hitting systems, which mimic your onscreen athlete’s actions. When pitching, you choose your pitch and location, and then perform a two-step motion with the right analog stick. Some pitches, like a four-seam fastball, are straightforward, with an easy back-then-forward motion, while others like a curveball require more complex movement to accurately perform. There’s a good variation of pitch types, which keeps pitching fun throughout the grind of a full, 9-inning game.

The hitting system hasn’t changed since 2K9, and for good reason. It’s easily the better batting interface of the two current games available, and just might be the most comfortable I’ve ever used. Everything, from the depth perception of the ball to the pitcher tipping his pitch on a bad delivery, feels right, and the exaggerated, bat-shattering sound of squaring a ball up further-accentuates the feeling of success.

One aspect of 2K’s arcady nature that succeeds is My Player mode, which debuted in 2K10 and remains intact in this year’s game. In what is essentially Sony’s Road to the Show mode, My Player boils down to creating a top prospect and guiding him from the minors to the Hall of Fame, all while playing exclusively from his point of view. What sets 2K’s version apart is the manner in which you rise to the top. Road to the Show is more comprehensive, forcing you to constantly work on all assets of your game, or they’ll degrade over time. In 2K11, you take on more of a Bryce Harper, “golden boy” role, with dramatic clutch moments occurring late in games and skills that don’t decline until late in your career. While it’s not as realistic, My Player sacrifices a WoW-style minor league grind for instant gratification and a quick rise to the bigs.

While The Show is praised for its gorgeous visuals, 2K remains the ugly duckling, occasionally looking decent when the lighting is right on an all-star’s recognizable mug. At its worst, 2K11 is laughable, with grossly oversized versions of players like Baltimore’s Mark Reynolds and shots of pitchers gasping like a fish out of water. What’s worse, the same three or four stock faces are used in lieu of less recognizable athlete’s faces, making for some pretty comical situations in which multiple players appear in a game with the same generic face.

In terms of game modes and overall additions, MLB 2K11 might as well be a palette-swap of 2K10. Other than some roster bug fixes and updates to Brian Wilson’s beard, there’s no real incentive for anyone other than PS3-less baseball purists to re-up with 2K Sports’ baseball franchise this year. However, if you can stomach the less-than-stellar visuals and John Kruk constantly saying “ath-a-lete,” then there is some fun baseball to be had in MLB 2K11. 

Review: Portal 2

Every so often a game comes along that changes your perception of a particular genre, that makes you smile and remember all the amazing moments you had with it, even while you’re still playing through it for the first time. Portal 2 is such a unique and polished experience that it would be unfair, no, an insult to compare it to any other puzzler, shooter or even the original Portal. That’s right; Portal 2 is so much more refined and streamlined that even the original is shrouded in its shadow.

From the moment you first wake up, Valve displays their uncanny ability to combine seamless narrative and comedy, while still keeping strong gameplay at the core of the experience. Wheatley, a small spherical bot who accompanies you throughout the game, conveys more emotion though rapid eye movement and body language than most games are able to accomplish with an entire human body. Add in a timid, yet unwittingly hilarious performance by Stephen Merchant (of The Office and The Ricky Gervais Show) and Wheatley steals the show, with the exception of GLaDOS.

Still alive and ready for science.

Yup, Portal’s cake stealing, party submission position, neurotoxin spewing baddie is back, and boy is she pissed at you. This is one of those elements that show just how evolved Portal 2 is when compared to its predecessor. Throughout Portal, GLaDOS was far more reserved, dipping occasionally from mad robot scientist to straight-homicidal during the test chambers, and then going full-on maniacal during your escape. This time around, the big bad bot is stone cold, playing more of a Jigsaw role by keeping you alive just to go through more increasingly difficult and deadly tests.


The actual gameplay of Portal 2 remains largely intact from the original, with the energy pellets being swapped out for “thermal discouragement beams,” lazer beams that can be redirected to open doors and destroy those cute-as-hell turrets. In addition to the discouragement beams, Portal 2 features bridges made of pure sunlight, gel that can be used to speed up movement and propel you through the air and tractor beams. These puzzle features add a new wrinkle for series veterans and make navigating test chambers even more treacherous and fun.

Portal 2's Excursion Funnel (left) and Repulsion Gel (right).

While Portal 2 is a relatively short game, coming in at around 10 hours, the addition of a cooperative mode that allows two people to run a separate series of test chambers does extend the experience. However, the sheer quality of the content that is there more than makes up for any shortcomings, and with additional downloadable content (the first of which will be free, by the way), Portal 2 is a game worth hanging on to.


Valve has once again taken the lofty expectations of a fervent fan-base and completely shattered them. Portal 2 is the closest to gaming perfection since Super Mario Brothers 3 back in 1988, and is the clear front-runner for game of the year, if not decade. Do not hesitate to pick this game up, regardless of your gaming preferences.

Review: The Next BIG Thing

With the exception of episodic releases of games like Sam & Max and Back to the Future by developer, Telltale Games, the point-and-click adventure genre has become pretty barren. However, the semi-obscure, Madrid-based developer, Pendulo Studios is attempting to fill the gap with their release of The Next BIG Thing for the PC.

As beautiful as it is charming, The Next BIG Thing is a classic adventure game in every sense of the word, with puzzles ranging from clever to downright head-scratching, often requiring the player to randomly experiment with different items in order to succeed. This is more an indication of the hand holding approach developers take in modern games, rather than a fault of TNBT’s replication of a long-revered genre, as any gamer who played the Monkey Island series in the early 90’s will attest to. However, the presence of a hint system that coyly drops clues about the current situation helps at times.

The Next BIG Thing is chock-full of personality, with quirky characters like Liz Allaire, a disturbingly energetic field reporter, with a propensity for blurting out random statements, and Tobby, a pet Venus Flytrap with a taste for caviar. The genuinely funny script is further enhanced by rapid-fire dialogue that fits the game’s absurd brand of humor to a tee.

To put it bluntly, TNBT is gorgeous. The cell-shaded 3D characters look sharp and are animated well, with the exception of spotty lip-syncing. The dubbing is especially disappointing because it detracts somewhat from the stellar dialogue. The hand-painted backdrops will leave your jaw on the floor, especially when played at higher resolutions.

The big drawback of The Next BIG Thing is its price. At $30, it's a little expensive, especially considering that when you've played through the game once, you have pretty much seen everything it has to offer. When compared to Telltale charging around $10 for similar games, Pendulo might be pricing themselves out of the market.

Despite its cost, The Next BIG Thing is an exceptional adventure game that harkens back to the early years of gaming. For those who can afford the price of admission, TNBT doesn't disappoint. With its classy style, sexy looks and excellent dialogue, The Next BIG Thing is a short ride, but one that you'll enjoy every minute of.